Ma Mounta Ma Aljhi Raheko Euta Jeevan

I started a joke, which started the whole world laughing, Oh, if I'd only seen that the joke was on me. I looked at the skies, running my hands over my eyes, and I fell out of bed, hurting my head from things that I'd said.

Another late night, not intentional one but things keep piling up all the time leaving me no choice but to knock a few items off the stack to make room for more. :p

The moon, as I look into the sky from my window, is barely perceptible. A few clouds taking desperate measures to wrap the moon in their fold, they are clearly struggling, as has been the case each time they make such attempt. Spring is here, wish I could bask in its warmth a little longer, but summer's already making me feel its presence throwing mercurial alarms now and then. You know I've always preferred to stay away from the heat, prevents me from my normal function, more like a machinery that starts malfunctioning at higher mercuries.

Despite restless days and nights of late, I do seem to have come terms with the way how things are in general. Survival becomes easy when you realize there isn't much you could do change the course of action, gets even better when you learn to sway your ways with the wind. Yes I know this is not me speaking the one you have known who would talk of inventing new hopes in times of despair, or one who would urge you to believe in making things happen. Well, I am not contradicting myself or making any statement against my faith, but I do have started to look at things with different perspectives. Finally some senses have prevailed derailing me from my flight through the clouds high above.

Ma mounta ma aljhi raheko euta jeevan
Kahan jane kaslai sodhne kaslai sodhne

Yesari nai sara jeevan andhakarma bitne ho ki
Maya maya bhanda bhandai jindagi nai mero bitne ho ki
Ma pratiksha ma aljhi raheko euta jeevan

Yesari nai sara betha sunyatama bitne ho ki
Maya maya bhanda bhandai youvan mero yahan dubne ho ki
Ma aashai aashma aljhi raheko euta jeevan

Have you ever felt like you're screaming inside but no one can hear you? Like there're thousand things you would want to scream about, but so muted you have become, that nothing of that would actually buzz through your vocal chords, instead all that comes out is some junk, plain noise. You end up uttering incomplete words/phrases here and there that do not generally make much sense. Guess that's what life is, and meaning of growing up in a broader sense. You get feelings like you're going to blow up or you're going crazy. Its just a feeling of not having control I guess. Perhaps its normal to have such feelings, perhaps I should learn to look over, and live with them until they pass. What troubles me most is what done can never be undone, no matter how hard you try, each acquaintance leaves its mark, and it eventually becomes a part of your life, something you have to live with for the rest of your life, only to rest with your final show down.

Peace, \m/